Sunday, April 01, 2007

Recognizing the darkness

I've been trying to figure out how to write this since I heard the audio post on Michael Bane's latest venture: Downrange. It is no secret that I have struggled after I found out that Les Lemm walked out of the courtroom without the felony he was supposed to have for murdering my Dad.

While I'm knew that bitterness just rips us up, and my faith should have sustained me. It didn't because I was mad at God and myself for not getting justice for my dad. It bugs me with all my knowledge it took something that I have been studying fairly seriously for the last three years to really snap me out of it.

I've been studying self-defense, Machiavelli, and Sun Tu the last couple of years. One of the key ideas is recognizing a bad situation and not going into it. I failed to recognize that I had walked into the bitterness, but once I realized it-it was to late.

Mr. Banes's audio blog (which will probably be different on Monday) talked about how safe cave diving is because those that do it realize how dangerous it can be and how the slightest hint of trouble no one argues they decide the best course of action is to not push their luck. The same goes for self-defense, such as going home and your door is ajar, not going in and clearing the house.

In my indignation at the miscarriage of justice, I unfortunately ignored the ajar door, walking into the darkness. I don't know why scripture didn't work, but I guess God sometimes uses what we know when we just can't handle God's language.

1 comment:

fetzer said...

Great insite. I am glad you are seeing the light. It's a lot better spot to be in compared the anguish that comes from bitterness.