Friday, January 02, 2009

Violating my beliefs

The week before Christmas I had a gastric surgery. I had tried to figure out how to get out of it more ways than I can think of, but I did it violating most of my beliefs in the process. I have friends that were sure I was going to chicken out at the last minute...the truth be told I did. Just not the way they think. I keep hearing people saying that this is such a great thing, but let's think about it for a second.

Back in the 1950's lobotomies were performed on the mentally ill. Now days we say how inhuman it was to brutalize them just because they don't fit the 'social norm.' The surgery I had took 85% of my stomach. I have a 'friend' that ceased wanting to be around me because I let myself get fat (my fault I got fat, don't blame anyone but me) he was the loudest proponent because I didn't fit the 'social norm.' The dietitian asked if I was happy I had the surgery. I didn't know how to explain to her I think I made a mistake, but it doesn't help I think she's an idiot.

This is the first time I succumbed to peer pressure and I guess I did it in a huge way to allow my stomach to be butchered. I realize that I needed to do something about my weight, but I'm sickened about how I sold out my beliefs, just because I couldn't figure out how to get out of the path I was heading down.

I'll grant that in the three short weeks I've lost weight and am more active, but at what cost?

6 comments:

Matt said...

on behalf of all your real friends, let me apologize for your "friend" who didn't want to be around you...shame on him. On the other note, I know things are crazy for this right now, but don't beat yourself up for doing it. In the long run, it may be a better thing. My uncle did it and he has lost almost 200 lbs. I have even considered it myself as well. Hang in there man and know your life will be changing! Praying for you!

Just John said...

Some may say that the cons of it outweigh the pros, but the pros still exist. Your health is going to improve greatly.

I hope you find yourself pleased with the results, if not the method.

Ange (de Montmartre) said...

I think there's a big difference between a lobotomy, which cuts into your very identity and changes who you are, and surgery on any other part of the body, which does not. Surely you believe that *you* are not your body?

DAKOTARANGER said...

Angie, no it just took me a while to work through some things with it.

The Gunslinger said...

It must have taken a lot of courage to do it. Don't doubt yourself now. No point in it.

Worry and regret are fore and aft of the same waste of time.

Sail on, you fierce buccaneer!

dismalsand said...

I'd choose you as a friend over millions out there no matter what! There is 2 ladies here in town that had the surgery..they are pretty neat ladies and I still look them straight in the eye when we visit.."just like I always have"...Look forward Peacmaker.. :)