Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A life long bachelor's perspective on love, romance, and marriage

I'll start off with saying I enjoy my single life. I like not being forced to ask permission to do something, that's not to say I haven't looked the last couple of years, but if I single for the rest of my life so be it. I think the reason this is on the front of my mind is because of the four weddings I've gotten to this Summer (and the one I'm going to miss in TX) and it's come up in a couple discussions lately. The only missing is kids and I have enough 'adopted' nieces and nephews that sort of fill that spot. AND I stick to the idea it's better to have a warm pizza than a cold woman (the Craig Olmsted Paraphrase of the Proverb, "It's better to have stale bread than a quarrelsome woman)

First off, for a Christian guy it's alot easier for us to grasp the concept of love for the very simple reason that love is an action and an oath. I can't honestly say I know anyone that wouldn't put their life on the line for those that they love. Love can easily seen as a matter of duty or honor...something that is written deep on the heart of men. Or do what needs to be done to make someone happy. For guys love is about respect, and when it isn't given the man is robbed from his wife, or he's stealing something incredibly valuable to his wife.

The reason most guys don't get romance is the simple fact it's an emotion. Or we just can't grasp the concept of the power of a single rose. Speaking for myself, after most of the losses in my life I put up walls and defenses against emotions and it has been a battle to tear down. I joke about it being alot less scary dealing with someone wielding a knife, than it is to date because at least with that I came through unscathed. I'm not a poet and I really am not a fan of even the Psalms. If I were to write a poem it would sound like something that my niece Pen would write, but come to think of it, she'd do better. I'm no Lord Byron, nor would I ever want to be.

Watching those dumb jewelry commercials or wedding dresses commercials you'd think the most important day for a woman is her wedding day (mainly because they say it is.) Here's the deal, for Christians the most important day of their life is the day they accept Christ, the second is when the decide that they are going to love someone. A wedding day is just where those two facts intersect and the marriage ensues after that. Out here there are still a few of us that use the term "Getting Hitched." To be honest, I kinda like the visual. When a team is hitched you can adjust it so the stronger one does more of the pulling...being a former PK I can attest to the times when I've seen couples having to take turns on that. The concept of two working together facing life is kinda appealing (and probably as romantic as I actually get. To be perfectly honest, IF I ever do get roped into getting hitched I want someone that can side me, not follow or try to dominate. I tend not to handle domineering women well, they kinda irritate the living daylights out of me.

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